It’s all too easy to dismiss a person’s thoughts and desires on account of their age. As adults, we sometimes over-complicate life with false expectations over maturity.
I was reminded of this fact the other day by my eldest son. Rather annoyingly, he summed up years of my learning with a throw-away remark. He was defending his position for ignoring my parental advice. He said mid-conversation, “I am not interested in titles and positions, they are not that important.”
Ouch — he was right, the many years I had spent thinking, chasing and believing. Only later to understand while titles are a mental short cut, they are not always accurate and in some cases inflated if not made up.
If you want proof, spend a few moments, looking through your LinkedIn network!
For many years when meeting someone for the first time I used to ask variations of the inevitable questions. What do you do? How old are you?
In isolation, the answers give an indication but in truth, they are narrow questions often used to define the person you are meeting. — Not good!
I would love to be able to tell you the number of times I have been asked those pokey cringe-worthy questions. Sometimes the person asking means well and is generally interested, but often they are used as a way of judging and defining who you are.
That’s when it sucks because I am, we are so much more than the answers we can give. I have learned over the years if you truly want to get to know someone, you should focus on broader, open and stretching questions such as.
“What keeps you busy when you are not..”
or how about this
“If you could, what would you do regardless of pay?”
or something more aspirational and searching such as.
“What do you hope to achieve in the next 5 years or during your lifetime.”
The last question might sound like a typical interview question, but if the recipient is willing to respond. The answer will provide meaningful insight into who they are because it centres on their priorities, interests, hopes and dreams.
Still not convinced, well here is another reason for looking at how we define ourselves.
As a masters athlete, our very nature is to be optimistic because despite our age, ailments and what other people think. We continuously strive to give our best, to have and obtain high performances.
We only let our age define our race age category, not what we can, can’t or should do. Sure we have to shift our perspective and reset our expectations, but we know where to look to find our definition for success.
Doing first and foremost because we enjoy is an approach to life I will always let define me.
I know when I do this, my age or perceived expectations do not limit or disqualify me from the life I want to live. I encourage you to do the same!